Welcome to a very terrible day of my life ever for over 26 years...Today is the day...life is not always what u wanted it to be...we r all acting, and ive been acting good, nice and kind for the past 26 years..is it so? and today, is the day that i hate most, full with hatred and what so eva that we can call it...im going to remember every single word and things happen today...I just cant let this thing fade away, im not blaming others but being just me, just who u r..makes me feels so sick...the kind, good and nice person, makes people around u just to step over u...step over me? or something like bullying and i hate it...i am a good person, i dont like to hate others, to step on others...I love helping others but not in a way that it seems that I can be bullied...! tired...as it is all double standard...im the youngest, ya..just put the blame on me..i cant even raise up my head, i know its all my fault, stupid silly mistake, like idiots...i dont know what else to comment...
Im just going to pretend that Im happy, I love doing things for others, helping others and at the same time, troubling myself...from now on, after crying in the toilet while pretending to take shower...Ill tell it to myself, only me...
"that u just go with the flow...do whatever it takes, just do it...just dont care bout other things, just do ur work, avoid outdoor activities, dont be too kind, dont be too nice and friendly as u dont need to be like that..its not worth it.." just dont let urself being hurt again, i just want to disappear, i dont want to meet anybody else, seeing other people...i cant think straight now..just cant...i dont wanna check my mails, i dont wanna on my phone..gudbye to such a terrible life..
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