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nothing good for today...my mood was just fine for the past few daYS after that disaster lah...n now mood swing back...i dont know what to say/comment...i dont think that whatever i do, been appreciated..u know the things like..whatever it is, u r still wrong..still! n im so fed up with it...

im working n not that im lazing around..its just that im trying to take a deep breath..its not that im so relax..i got tonnes of work too and i know that..entahla..so fed up...so n so....

Paperwork

now i know the feelings when u have tonnes of paperwork to do...

i have to check final report for lina's work.., her posters, abstract...

finalized my conference paper

edit some part of my ergs proposal

finish up my report on my experiment..

feels like vomiting...keep on looking at the computer...got tired eyes as well...

Precipitates

Precipitates collected for each reactor

Hate VS Love

let me karang something okay?

i was thinking of something, what makes man wanna be with me for like more than 5 years???

its not like we r best friend but more than that, not together...it doesnt mean that we r dating each other as other couple/as lover...its just in the middle...

ive left these 2 guys, one i hate most, another one, i dont like him, i just can be his friend...not more than that...

The guy that i hate most-A

The guy that i can only b his friend-B

The guy i like now -C

Guy A, friends with him for more than 6 years....ding dong, like each other, break up, together again,fighting, now he have gf, so i left him...but he is coming back to me, want me back but at the same time gf is there...how can it be? its like so greedy, u want both..i say cannot...but still, he wants everything to be back to normal....with him, ive experienced quite a lot of heartache..so i dont want to take risk anymore...scared n tired...

Guy B, friends with him for 7 years...ding dong, i really dont like him..dnt know what it is or y, i just dont like him....ive tried to open up my heart for him but it just cant....n i know the sentences of u cant force love...same goes to me...even if im with him, only because of pity, not more than that..ive dumped him so many times but he just wont give up...Up to u lah, but im still his friend...no fighting...

Guy C, i dnt know y but i like him...since our 2nd meeting...but i just want to ignore the feelings coz im too scared to be in love again/to love someone which always end up hurting myself..im trying to play safe now...but cant forget him lah...everytime i look at his face, i kept smiling...oh no...it is so called love/or just like..? im not too sure bout that too...very dangerous lah..i want him so badly but not sure whether he likes me too or not..im scared that with my feelings, ill ruined the relationship and no more friends...what should i do? just wait??

Keropok lekor...

made from fish and flour...I like it, its from Terengannu..given by my colleague..she went for a trip, not sure what subject..anyway, thanks to her (NIK)...lovely, yummy..ive already boiled it and wanted to eat it with their special chili sauce...

Conference paper

writing up...finally, i did it...

Never ever underestimate on writing papers...doesnt matter what type of the paper; journal paper, conference paper, short communication, proposal....

Ive finished one...wooppps.....almost finishing one conference paper...entitled the removal of nickel through biological sulphide precipitation..just wish that my paper would be accepted in the Research Journal of Chemistry and environment with IF:0.323. I just could wish for it, coz im sending it late to organizer...So im going to present it in May..

okay..need to continue on with the paper as Prof has just returned it back to me just now...Need to edit some of it, only the english structure...n references...daaa..

Run samples for COD..

well, today, run samples to determine the cod (chemical oxygen demand). Samples from the biofilm reactor..I hate when the results were not as what i wish for...i know i cant control it but whats that supposed to mean? i cant think anymore on what r the possibilities or why the results appear to be that way...can someone let me know? or tell me? or whatever it is please explain to me...anyone??? hmm...im sure nobody can explain it and i have to refer back to journals...okay2..i will..right now, i just want to relax myself, im going back to the office at 6..coz if i go before 5, got no parking, which makes me mad..hehehe..

Having so much fun!!!

with raimi

sis, me and fatin

sis, me and alan

me & fatin

me & raimi again

me, sis and fatin

me with alan!

yay...yay..ya.....heading to the tasik putrajaya for hot air balloon....5 of us, sis, fatin, alan & raimi...

met at alamanda, so came here only with fatin's car...its like the tradition, last year we went so do this year!..yahoo...im wearing Yahoo! t-shirt, given by my cousin, from us okay..heheh...back to our story...emm...after the balloon, went back to alamanda....have dinner and kara0ke!!!

went back home late...as usual if went out with them lah...normal, but only for once for 2-3 mths...

but its so refreshing!!!!>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>i keep smiling today..hope my mood will be just good as yesterday...THANKS TO ALL..

Hot Air Balloon Year 2

Yayyy! hot air ballo0n year 2! went with the same team...great!!!!

well, this year, there are more ballons compared to last year one...and more people are coming...

there are doraemon, dark invader from the star wars, tress with parrots, sad face...

what else to comment, im having so much fun guys...!

Morning glory

such a beautiful story...its a great one to me lah..story bout the producer trying so hard to raise up the rating for her morning show; Daybreaks...

Dvd's

Bought yesterday:

1. Burlesque (*****, like it so much!)
2. The mechanic
3. The king's speech
4. Sivaji the boss
5. yogi bear (****)
6. swat
7. drive angry
8. i am number 4
9. the green hornet
10. morning glory
11. chihua hua 2

Work smart

Lately, Ive heard a lot bout this two words:

"hardworking" and "work smart".......

y am i raising up this issue??? coz people tend to mention that to me, especially the "work smart"....

Its been me who always wanted to do the best for myself.Therefore, ill work hard so that Ill get whatever I want...for ex: the education level that Im in now...

although its kinda tough for me, i just believe that by working hard would bring me to success.

FYI: Im so scared of failure, even though people said that its okay...

Im so used to the word failed before, failed in PMR, SPM and diploma...but we have to wake up from the failure...just dont drag it too long...

Its my 2nd year and Im running out of of time..Not sure what to do 1st, although Ive planned everything but sometimes things didnt work out as what we want it to be..RIGHT?

people's advice to me:

1. work smart
2. gve space to yourself

Ive been thinking bout this lately....but not outcome..hehe

The Memoirs..

Can someone give me this? huhuhu wanted to buy it, have read some reviews on this book..it was such a good book to read...its all about him, his life and Malaysia...he is my inspiration...oh i need it so badly.....I want it..I want it...lets see if the book is still available here in Shah Alam..

Hari lepas tension sedunia

****, HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

cheese ebiko

unagi

squid

Went to sunway pyramid..1st thought was to just do anything to release out my stress...

1. watch movie 'hikayat merong mahawangsa"
2. play games (racing, basketball, knocking hamsters)
3. went for sushi, after craving for quite a long time...
4. wanted to buy the memoirs, Tun Mahathir's book but dont have money now...hope ada lg stock after this.
5. bought 4 pairs of earing, saw lovely necklace but have no money, still, wait first okay..got lot of debts need to settle.

terrible day *%#$%#@@

Welcome to a very terrible day of my life ever for over 26 years...Today is the day...life is not always what u wanted it to be...we r all acting, and ive been acting good, nice and kind for the past 26 years..is it so? and today, is the day that i hate most, full with hatred and what so eva that we can call it...im going to remember every single word and things happen today...I just cant let this thing fade away, im not blaming others but being just me, just who u r..makes me feels so sick...the kind, good and nice person, makes people around u just to step over u...step over me? or something like bullying and i hate it...i am a good person, i dont like to hate others, to step on others...I love helping others but not in a way that it seems that I can be bullied...! tired...as it is all double standard...im the youngest, ya..just put the blame on me..i cant even raise up my head, i know its all my fault, stupid silly mistake, like idiots...i dont know what else to comment...

Im just going to pretend that Im happy, I love doing things for others, helping others and at the same time, troubling myself...from now on, after crying in the toilet while pretending to take shower...Ill tell it to myself, only me...

"that u just go with the flow...do whatever it takes, just do it...just dont care bout other things, just do ur work, avoid outdoor activities, dont be too kind, dont be too nice and friendly as u dont need to be like that..its not worth it.." just dont let urself being hurt again, i just want to disappear, i dont want to meet anybody else, seeing other people...i cant think straight now..just cant...i dont wanna check my mails, i dont wanna on my phone..gudbye to such a terrible life..

Run samples

calibration graph for nickel, manganese and zinc

the screen

set of samples, 100++

have to check on the tubing, flow in and out..

Reached lab early today, thought could warm up ICP early but as usual..its not going to open until at around 8.30am..normal lah..waited and finally opened, so i go n check the gas, warm up the ICP with the help of Ms Tay...Im not familiar yet...(not yet???) haha hands on ICP, mmg scary...

Warm up usually takes about 3 hours, so right after that, start to run samples...

Done at 4.30pm, continue with ERGS proposal...sigh, tired already...looking at the same thing for the past few weeks..but nway, i really want the money/grant to support my consumables item..

Experimental work

The DR 2800, at Kak Aishah's Lab, Level 4

COD reactor at En Hazli's lab, Level 3

Experimental work for today:

1. COD (17 samples)
2. BOD5 (2 samples)
3. EXTRACT SAMPLES (4 samples)
4. MEASURE PH (20 samples)
5. MEASURE TEMPERATURE (20 samples)

thats all...plus the ERGS proposal...woweeee.....almost DONE...going to meet Prof tonite at 8pm, Pizza Hut Sect 20, going with Liew..Ive printed it all but I do believe there will be lot of changes again...just be ready ya..

What are words

Anywhere you are, I am near

Anywhere you go, I’ll be there

Anytime you whisper my name, you’ll see

How every single promise I keep

Cuz what kind of guy would I be

If I was to leave when you need me most

What are words

If you really don’t mean them

When you say them

What are words

If they’re only for good times

Then they don’t

When it’s love

Yeah, you say them out loud

Those words, They never go away

They live on, even when we’re gone

And I know an angel was sent just for me

And I know I’m meant to be where I am

And I’m gonna be

Standing right beside her tonight

And I’m gonna be by your side

I would never leave when she needs me most

What are words

If you really don’t mean them

When you say them

What are words

If they’re only for good times

Then they don’t

When it’s love

Yeah, you say them out loud

Those words, They never go away

They live on, even when we’re gone

Anywhere you are, I am near

Anywhere you go, I’ll be there

And I’m gonna be here forever more

Every single promise I keep

Cuz what kind of guy would I be

If I was to leave when you need me most

I’m forever keeping my angel close

Discussion for ERGS

sal, tay and nik with our pizza for lunch..

me, azian, nik and liew..bz preparing our proposal

smile..!

Busy..busy..busy....finishing the ERGS proposal, meeting with Prof this morning in the IIESM meeting room...basically, checking again, repairing and all that...Wah, still got lot of work to do...oh man, quite tiring...i just wanted to go home and take some rest...so headache, sleep late this few days..

Sitting in a room without air-cond makes u feel really sick too...wuek...still need to change few things, budget, wording here and there...ouch...sick lagi..huhuhu nway, great news, we got free lunch today..PIZZA, bos blanje..hehe yippe yippie yummy..!

waiting for nik to check it for me then we can go home...yippie yay!

but, will be meeting Prof again tomorrow nite at 8pm near KPJ, at his housing area..probably at pizza or kfc..

bla..bla..bla..(bebel)

I wish i have been given more time, so that i can do lot of stuff. (sleep, outing, work, eat)...Well, as Muslims, we should b grateful with what we have...thats what we were taught...okay, back to the TIME story, haven't updated some of my work lately coz im so bz preparing grants, its the ERGS as its finally going to close...due date is on the 9th march...waaaa...so many things ya that i need to prepare. the lit review, executive summary, myra form, budget and bla..bla..bla...

even met prof three times if Im not mistaken for the discussion of ergs...well, its very important as its the source of funding for our research.if we dont apply, no money to buy consumables.. thats it..simple! so, we need to come up with a very good research proposal in order to impress those committee...so that we got the funding, but thats not going to be easy...well, im mentally prepared..Ive experienced before, preparing the E-SCIENCE FUND, FRGS & DANA KECERMERLANGAN....E-Science, quite difficult, complicated.Its the national fund from MOSTI. Dana, from uitm, and the funding, very little and thats the reason y, we have to apply other grant as well..while ERGS is MOHE...but so far Ive only been awarded with grant from UiTM...i want MORE..MORE...

Finish with that, Ive prepared things for the discussion tomorrow..so Im a bit relax tonite, just a bit okay, I sleep late last nite, wake up and go to lab to withdraw samples and stay in the office till 5 something...I can totally agree that I need some rest..hehe..

The thing that i wanted to say it out loud: Im so stressed out when i encountered the same mistakes over n over again...I hate seeing that kind of mistakes, it looks like I have to make an official announcement to say it out loud that "please do ur work carefully, no more mistakes and please make my life easier...please...its the only thing i want...so that i don't have to waste my time, checking the same mistake...U have to open both eyes okay. I already have tonnes of things to do and to think off...I'm very stressful with this...huh..

if all people around u, just do their work the way it is, everybody's life is going to be easy right? its not going to be hard...as u get all the co-operation that u need..no more problems with that..its just that, when I say A, its A..no B...No C..come on....!!!! even, u can see that B is somewhat different or wrong...I hope, i wouldn't get much heartache like this anymore but i think i will do face the same thing again...*sigh*

:so excited:

wala...im back...i got taklimat this morning regarding the national research funding....

1. ERGS
2. FRGS
3. LRGS
4. PRGS

started at 9am, met lots of people.mostly professors and phd holders...I found it somewhat interesting to join this kind of event where u can get the chance to know and meet other people too...now, whats so interesting? i met few people while having breakfast, professor, lecturer, head of research (innovation), phd students from the Faculty of Art & design...chat few things, off course their field is totally different from mine...

But we do have a simple conversation which makes me feel so excited. When we pursuing our study to a certain level, meaning that u get to know people that is so powerful, knowledgeable, very educated...They gave me some advice and encourage me a lot...As they said that im young, so young to be pursuing till the highest level. Im so happy, there is one guy who keep telling GOOD, GOOD...hahah he is actually the youngest phd holder so far in uitm...overall, he got his phd when he was 28, now i think he is 29/30...not so sure...he said that "try to beat me" hahah fine, will do.! when i got it, will definitely let u know, luckily i got his name card..ha gave me...ahaha...he is married lah..but truly handsome...haha

end up taklimat at around 1pm...had lunch with liew & straight away go to chancellery building to meet prof...his mood was okay today...we had fun..hahah laughing here and there...

he wanted to call me SHERY TANAH AIR, hahah there are story behind it which is so funny...i dont think others would understand..let it be our secret..haha

full of laughter, hope i will continue on like this with this new spirit...yahoo!

Characterization & filter samples

Mood: tension

even for 4 samples which will take about approximately 3 hours to analyze, still make me so damn MAD...suddenly came in here and ask to test it...never ask whether can/not..its like a request and no slot for answering..feels like nak hentam they all..they think they r big enuf, or so powerful enough just to give instruction like that? i know they are powerful enough which could just pass me/or fail me in future..especially she is one of so called panel..haish...wut to do....im the victim here. its the time...which is very important...i dont have much time to analyze all my samples, even if i do it every weekend..samples using IC is a never ending job..